THE FUTURE DEPENDS ON WHAT WE DO IN THE PRESENT

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A peaceful divorce involves negotiating a settlement without the involvement of a legal court battle. Collaborate and Mediation both fall under this category. 

Both parties sign an agreement to work together to reach a mutually acceptable settlement using open and honest communication. Both parties retain their own attorney, a financial expert and a coach is also part of the collaboration. The coach is responsible for taking care of the couple and managing the emotions that sometimes can be very, very high. The mental health professional role is also designed to help the couple learn to communicate more effectively, develop good communication skills and learn how to resolve conflict. 

Mediation is a process in which both parties meet with one mediator who acts as a neutral third party. The mediator works with each couple to explore options, create solutions, and negotiate a settlement that is mutually beneficial. My role as a mediator is to help you determine the shape your family will take when all the dust settles. You will be determining the parenting plan for your children, including when they are with each parent. You may want to discuss if the children will move between the residences of each parent or if the parents will move in and out of the residence that the children live in. As a mediator, I can help you think through the pros and cons in making any of the decisions facing you.  Mediation is useful for parents who are not looking to place blame or get revenge on the other party. It provides an environment to discuss difficult issues where some amount of disagreement exists with a neutral party who can help smooth over rough feelings and provide a focus for the conversation. Making these decisions comes at a time when both parents are likely at their most vulnerable. Additionally, mediating a co-parenting plan, often creates for better communication regarding the children going forward. It is an opportunity for both parents to decide how custody will look, what is best for their children, vs handing this decision over to the court. 

If your divorce is adversarial, it can devolve into a situation where litigation is necessary. Even in the case where you are litigating, the truth is that the majority of divorce cases settle before they go to trial. Most states have a process in place where both parties will be forced to to use alternate methods of dispute resolution before they will be granted a trial. Going to trial is strongly discouraged